Get REAL

That “ick” feeling, name your values + practice makes more practice

• That “ick” feeling

You know the feeling. You got sucked into a gossipy conversation and found yourself contributing. Ick. You kept your mouth shut when you knew it was the right thing to speak up. Ick. Or a lie flew out of your mouth for no apparent reason. ICK.

When your actions don't match your values it creates what I call an “ick” feeling - the feeling of being out of alignment. And sometimes pouring a drink is the easiest way to make that ick feeling go away.

• Name your values

So how do you have that feeling (and the desire to drink to make it go away) less?

Name your values.

It sounds cheesy but it's a great practice. If you're not clear on what you value - what's important to you - sit down and think about it. Get out a pen and paper and write it down.

Don't know where to start? Think of a person you admire. Someone you wouldn't mind being a little more like. What do you admire about them? 

Or, here is a list to get you started. 

• Practice makes more practice

I value calm parenting and guess what? I lose my shit on my children more often than I would like. This most definitely creates an “ick” feeling and used to be something that would make me pour a cocktail.

I'll never be a perfect parent but I'm better than I was 3+ years ago. Knowing that living your values is a practice and having self-compassion is key. 

This isn't an example of practice makes perfect because who's perfect? It's an example of practice makes better.

When you act in alignment with your values you're being the REAL YOU. And being the real you feels good. And when you feel good you're less likely to reach for a drink to make you feel good. 

If you told me all this stuff 4 years ago I'd probably have doubts that “being real” had anything to do with quitting drinking. But here I am with the hindsight to tell you that it does. 

This is part of the work they talk about. And I promise you it's effective and worth it 💗