A kinder, gentler way

I grew up with the understanding that you only quit drinking if you were an alcoholic. That alcoholics had a disease and went to rehab and stayed alcoholics forever. 

Maybe this is true and works for some people. To me, it sounded harsh and kept me stuck when I started considering a life without alcohol. There was no way I was stepping into the world of AA and disease…so I kept on drinking. 

Here are 3 thoughts on "a kinder, gentler way to change”⬇️

Spectrum, paradox + progress over perfection

• Spectrum

Alcohol Use Disorder has a spectrum. And if the term AUD makes you uncomfortable, let’s define “disorder”. Merrium-Webster defines it as “to disturb the regular or normal functions of”. So, if your alcohol use disturbs the regular functions of your brain/body/life, you fall somewhere on the spectrum of Alcohol Use Disorder. 

That being said, the levels of AUD are mild, moderate, and severe. Not everyone who thinks about quitting drinking is physically addicted to alcohol. Not everyone has a “rock bottom.” Not everyone's alcohol use is severe.

There are as many ways to quit drinking as there are humans on this earth. Everyone falls somewhere different on the spectrum and responds to different methods of healing.

You don't treat a broken bone with a bandaid and you don't treat a scrape with a cast. You evaluate the disorder and heal it appropriately. 

• Embrace paradox

A concept I've embraced over these past few years of sobriety is that two opposing things can be true at the same time. 

Holding on to an idea like “I'm not bad enough to quit drinking” can keep you stuck in a pattern of drinking that is making you miserable. Embracing the paradox of “I don't have a severe problem with alcohol AND I'm not happy with the way I drink” is a kinder, gentler way to create change. 

A great example of the paradoxes of AUD is Laura McKowen's 9 Things. 

• Progress over perfection

I recently heard the quote “It was 10 miles into the jungle. It's also 10 miles out.” I've probably butchered the quote and I can't find the source but I hope you get its meaning. 

It takes time to develop a problem and it takes time to untangle it. 

If you're in the process of giving up alcohol it's important to celebrate success when you have it and forgive what you consider failures quickly. 

Celebrate progress over perfection. Celebrate how far you've come rather than how far you need to go. As with anything in life, healing is a process. 

There's no way around it, quitting drinking is HARD. But you can choose a kind, gentle way through the process. 

Embrace the paradoxes. 

“Yes, this is hard AND I'm willing to go through this process imperfectly.” 

“The idea of quitting is extreme AND I'm willing to listen to that inner voice that keeps telling me I'd be happier without alcohol.”

Start mapping your path of least resistance out of the jungle.