Don’t Push the River
The quote "Don't push the river" showed up in my IG feed this week and hasn’t left me.
It dawned on me that I’ve been pushing the river my whole life – making things harder than they need to be.
Like…the drinking. Years of questioning my drinking and noticing its progression turned into something I couldn't ignore. But "sobriety" seemed like a brutal struggle, a white-knuckled fight I didn’t want to be in for the rest of my life. So I was stuck…pushing the river.
And then I quit - which was hard - because change is hard. Until it wasn’t. The key was surrender. I just stopped pushing.
Instead of pushing against the current, I started flowing with it. I let it be tough, and let it take time, but also set myself up for success with things like good sleep, hydration, therapy, and an online sobriety support group.
I knew making dinner in the evening would tempt me to have a glass of wine so I didn’t make dinner for a month. Walking by a bar cart in my living room wasn’t helpful so I dismantled it.
I noticed obstacles in my way and figured out a way around them. I kept asking the question, “How can this be easier?”
Sobriety isn’t a fight anymore, it's a gentle flow downstream. But the "pushing" showed up in other areas - like exercise and nutrition.
I’ve been pushing the river on these since I quit drinking. Trying to force perfect habits when I didn’t have the energy. Now that I’m going with the flow in sobriety I have the energy to look at exercise and nutrition and address them differently. I can start flowing with them too.
Using my sober journey as a roadmap, I know how it’s done.
Find your North Star:
Get quiet: Ask yourself, "Who do I want to be? How do I want to feel?" Write down specific answers.
Flow with the River: Trust that continuing to re-direct yourself toward your goals will ultimately get you where you want to go.
Accept the Journey: Growth takes time. Identify your roadblocks and find the path of least resistance.
I want to be a healthy woman with strong bones and a fit mind that will serve me when I’m (hopefully) an old grandma. I want energy and strength and to not wake up feeling like I was hit by a bus. This is my North Star.
Visualizing a future strong me, taking small, continuous steps to improve my health and fitness, and trusting that I’ll become that person is how I flow with the river.
Removing roadblocks - like too much junk food in the house and having my gym clothes laid out next to my bed for the morning - creates a path of least resistance.
Brene Brown says: “Whatever you’re looking for, you’re going to find it.”
Get clear on what you want, who you want to be, and how you want to feel. Create your North Star. Then, keep taking steps toward that north star, especially after getting off track.
Keep your eye on the prize, and understand change takes time. Flow with choices that feel good, while keeping your North Star in mind. Oddly enough, surrendering and slowing down is what’ll ultimately propel you forward.
Don't give up on your goals, whether it's alcohol, exercise, relationships, career or anything else. Find your quiet time, define your desires, identify obstacles, and then relax and flow. The river will take you where you want to go.
