A Midlife Sandwich Served Up HOT

Maybe you noticed there was no newsletter last week. I broke a 72-week streak of sending it. A beloved family member passed away and I had no capacity for things like newsletters.

The fact is, I've been struggling with capacity for a while now. Nothing uncommonly tragic has happened and I know I lead a privileged life. Everything is fine.

However, I'm the meat in that midlife sandwich I’ve heard so much about - parents aging, perimenopause, the needs of teenage children, the needs of younger children, maintaining my mental health, managing my children’s mental health, professional development, personal development, managing a household, staying in shape, helping my kids stay healthy, marriage, friendships, navigating difficult relationships, finding time for life-giving relationships…you get the picture.

It's all happening now. I feel like that Stretch Armstrong toy I loved so much in the 80s - being pulled in all directions. And the beauty of it is, thanks to the knowledge and tools I’ve picked up in sobriety, I'm navigating it in a healthy way.

When speaking to a sober friend last week about the loss in our family, she asked How's your sobriety? To my delight, I answered it's great. It’s enabled me to be present in my grief. To feel loss AND gratitude for a beautiful life. To feel pain AND inspiration to model my life after the way my loved one lived.

I never once thought of having a drink to take the edge off of the stress and the pain. Instead, I’ve been feeling a deep deep gratitude that, almost 4 years ago, I removed alcohol from the picture. All the work that happened 4 years ago and beyond is paying off at this moment.

I've noticed an expansiveness that allows for all the feelings—grief, insecurity, gratitude, joy, and hope. I watch each feeling come to me, move through my heart, and flow out, without being blocked or numbed.

This is the way to live.

If you're here because you're curious and think alcohol might be holding you back I'm here to tell you to go with your gut. Follow those breadcrumbs to the alcohol-free life you keep thinking about.

I’m not going to lie, it's hard to make this change. But when life gets lifey you’ll find yourself saying, “Thank God I’m not pouring alcohol on this s***.”

You’ll find gratitude in the most painful moments. You’ll trust the fact that you’re the expert in your experience. You’ll be a better friend, partner, and parent. You’ll slow down and appreciate the beautiful thing that is life in all its messiness and celebration.

It might sound like inspirational cheesiness but this is, after all, a sobriety newsletter. Are you here for it?

If you need to hear this today: Yes, sobriety is a good idea. Yes, it’s hard to make the change. Yes, it’s worth it. Yes, it makes life easier. Yes, it’s a more fulfilling, technicolor way to live. I promise.