Vulnerability is your SUPERPOWER
VULNERABILITY is defined as the state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed.
Why am I talking about vulnerability and what does it have to do with sobriety, you ask? So much. And if you're not interested in sobriety, this is still some good stuff to know.
Connection, showing up + testing the waters
Connection
The whole reason we're here on this earth is to connect.
Connection = safety.
Johann Hari said: “The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. it's CONNECTION.”
Toto connect, you have to be seenToto be seen you have to be vulnerable. And I don't mean being seen from a distance or at your very finest. I mean being seen as your authentic self. Who you really are. This is the only way to a true connection.
Showing up
Vulnerability = showing up as you are instead of showing up as whom you think people want you to be. Here's where we connect this to drinking.
Being vulnerable is scary and uncomfortable, and it's completely normal to want to numb it. This is why we drink.
We're vulnerable to health problems.
We're vulnerable to family stress.
We're vulnerable to rejection.
Loneliness.
Failure.
And on and on. It's easy to want to check out and numb the vulnerability.
The hard (and brave) thing to do is show up and face it.
Testing the waters
When I first quit drinking did what I now call, “testing the waters”.
This means I would open up a little bit to someone I thought was safe about the fact that I was trying to quit drinking. It started with my husband, a few family members, and close friends. I can't remember exactly what I said but it was probably pretty surface-level. I was afraid to say too much because 1) what would they think of me? and 2) what if I failed?
Of course, they all answered me with kindness, which made me feel safe, and led me to say more when I was ready. This led to eventually widening the circle of who I would be vulnerable with and what I would share.
And here I am today sharing all of this with YOU.
Yes, I occasionally get a “not nice” comment and I'm learning how to deal with those. I have a tiny piece of paper that has the names of the people whose opinions I care about on it. If the name's not on that paper, I give little to no attention to the not-nice comment.
Being vulnerable is a practice. It's a little like building a muscle. And a lot like a leap of faith. Harnessing the power of vulnerability will lead you to the real stuff in life - connection, love, and joy.
