There Are No Rules to This Thing

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "For what it’s worth: it's never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There are no rules to this thing." This quote perfectly captures what I’d tell anyone contemplating an alcohol-free life.

For me, the idea of quitting drinking felt extreme. Only alcoholics quit drinking - not stay-at-home moms who have a nightly glass (bottle?) of wine. But when foggy memories and hungover mornings became too painful, I decided to attempt the extreme…and it was confusing. The decision to stop drinking made no sense compared to my belief that only alcoholics “had” to stop.

I had no choice but to try because when the pain of your current situation becomes greater than your fear of change, it’s time to take action.

Perfection

At first, perfection got in my way. I wanted the sobriety rule book. I wanted someone to tell me exactly how to quit drinking - and then I would do it…perfectly.

What I discovered during the messy time between deciding to quit and becoming alcohol-free is that there is no perfectly. I needed to make my own rules. Understanding this helped me gain traction.

The Messy Middle

If you’re considering becoming alcohol-free, use my 20/20 hindsight. Make your own rules. Then change them if you need to. Allow the process to be messy, because it will be. Forgive yourself over and over again.

Start each day by taking a deep breath, dusting yourself off, and turning toward your North Star. By North Star, I mean that version of yourself you know deep down is the person you want to be.

Believe in her, because she is you. As long as you keep that vision and don't quit quitting you will get where you want to go.

Sobriety is messy - a dance of self-forgiveness and redirection. There’s liberation in this realization.

Here's what I want for you:

• Embrace the Mess: It's okay if things get bumpy. This is your journey. Believe in it.

• Forgive Yourself: Slips happen. Dust yourself off and recommit to your goals.

• Visualize Your Ideal Self: Focus on the version of yourself you crave to be. Visualize every detail and use this vision as your compass.

Like Fitzgerald said, there are no time limits. You can start making the best of it today. Make your own rules, forgive yourself, and keep chasing your North Star. You've got this.