The stages of change
I can't remember when I started googling “How do you know if you're an alcoholic” but I do know that I started seriously considering quitting drinking in 2018. For the next two years, unbeknownst to me, I was changing my behavior.
The stages, bouncing around + stand in the place where you are
The stages
The Stages of Change were developed by Prochaska + DiClemente in 1982 and are as follows:
Precontemplation - You're unaware there's a problem and unwilling to change a problem behavior.
Contemplation - You're considering change, but haven't initiated any change behavior.
Preparation - You're getting ready to change and intend to change soon.
Action - You're actively making changes to the target behavior.
Maintenance - You're sustaining and strengthening the changes you've made to the target behavior.
Bouncing around
The path through the stages is not linear. You'll probably bounce around. Show me a person who wakes up one day, decides to quit drinking, and never drinks again and I'll show you a unicorn.
The stages are cyclical and you'll move back and forth between them. I did this with alcohol and I'm currently doing it with sugar. I've been bouncing around contemplation, preparation, and action for quite some time now. How about you? What's got you bouncing around?
Stand in the place where you are
A friend suggested I put “Stand” by R.E.M. on my Sober Inspo Playlist and the song hasn't left my brain since.
Listen to Michael Stipe and “stand in the place where you are” in the stages of change. Look around and determine what stage you're in. Doing this will make you feel good about leveling up from the previous stage and also think about a plan to get to the next one.
When I find myself in a tizzy I'll stop and name what I'm feeling. You know…you've got to name it to tame it. It's the same thing with the stages. You've got to know where you are to figure out where you're going.
Change is hard…not impossible. When navigating change, knowledge is power. You can't change what you don't notice.
Patience is important too. Rome wasn't built in a day.
And, finally, self-love is a must. You can't hate yourself into change. You've got to love yourself through the stages like you would a child or a best friend.
There you have it. Pick your desired behavior and go for it. With knowledge, patience, and self-love you'll get where you want to go.
