Turning SHOULD Into WANT

I don’t think anyone ever really WANTS to stop drinking. Who wakes up one day and says “I would LOVE to stop drinking?” I didn’t 🙋‍♀️. We may feel like we NEED to quit drinking or would be better off if we did - so we decide we SHOULD. So how do you turn that SHOULD into a WANT? The trick is to change your mindset, and doing that requires effort. According to Alan Deutschman hope, not fear, inspires positive change. His book, Change or Die: Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life, explains how people are influenced to change through the 3Rs (relate, repeat + reframe). Here are a few thoughts on how to move from “I SHOULD stop drinking” to “I WANT to stop drinking”. ⬇️

Relate 💞

There's no getting around it. Connection is key. If you want to be a non-drinker, you have to hang around with/talk to non-drinkers. Surround yourself with the people you aspire to be like (or at least find one person). This could be:

• Joining an online sobriety group

• Joining an in-person sobriety group

• Reaching out to that one sober person you know

• Send me an email and share what's on your mind - I'll reply!

Repeat 🔁

This means implementing habits/small changes and doing them again and again. Repeating small daily practices will start to change your belief in who you are (fit, sober, studious, generous, {insert your adjective here}). This could be daily practices of:

• Meditating (start small - like 1 minute a day)

• Going for a 5-10 minute walk

• Drinking 80 oz of water

• Reading 10 pages of wisdom from a book

Start small and “fake it until you make it”.

Reframe 🖼️

This means telling a new narrative of yourself. Instead of saying “I'm trying to quit drinking”, say “I don't drink”. Replace “I don't get to drink anymore” with “I don't HAVE to drink anymore”. Changing your perspective with reframing will help you approach a challenging situation (quitting drinking) with more optimism.

Change requires effort

Giving up alcohol isn't easy, but it is SIMPLE. Reframing, repetition, and relation will help you get to where you want to be.